new moon lah sgt

i've been dreaming of edward ever since twilight.. can't believe when new moon is finally out..

but...

i am so freaking frustrated.. yes.. i read the whole twilight saga like.. 4 times already and i was anticipating new moon like a newly wed bride who is expecting her first child.. and yet, all i can see in the movie was... a few bunch of wolves and no EDWARD!! ARGHH...

sumpah rase nk flying kick je muke edward time dy cakap

i don't want you anymore, you're not good enough for me

seryesly, emosi gile aku.. ok2 xyah sebuk2 nk join ngn mslh sendiri.. tp minah kat sebelah tu asek dok ulang he's so stupid.. and i go like..OH YEAH!!! idiot edward!

can i say i miss the old edward? the one who is oh-so-romantic. sweet and smart asal la edward in new moon ni cam lost gile... oh how people/vampires change..

through out the whole movie, i can only see like a few minutes of him.. yes!! i am disappointed. I miss him.. lol, ngek, rindu ngn watak cerite~

oh, x best... x best... but the CGI was awesome.. the whole movie was nice.. but to be disappointed by edward??! I AM SO MAD..

and they said, come on syaimaa.. it's only a movie.. no it's not.. it's a joke to me! from what i've gone through right now.. i can see it's somehow related to me.. it effects me even to the last scene.. i walked out annoyed and almost lost my mind of different emotions.. tensen gile jd bella kn?

oh well atleast a hot werewolf and a freaking gorgeous vampire were after her.. but my vampire got lost somewhere.. probably looking out for another hot gorgeous female vampire.. oii.. mr 100% are u even exist??

haish.. emo giler kot aku mlm nih.. dah laa.. out to mansurah..tensen aih

because i said so?

remember i used to say, that it feels like forever but it's not?
can i say that i never believe in forever? or any sort of till death do us apart?

You can say i'm a bit pathetic, but what's the harm of keeping your head straight? be realistic..

those who never love, will never be loved [kata2 hukama' ni.. it's original version is in arabic, btw]

I saw too many people around me aching because of hopes and dreams.. yes, dreams are indeed free. But come on, this life are'nt fairy tale. You're not living in Fantasia World. Prepare for the worst.

Ntahla, tataw nk ckp ape.. sorry if i don't believe in marriage or cinta sempurna, I thought it would be so hard, but knowing something you already know, what damage could it brings? and the fact that i'm not hurting, means... what? it's not important? ntahla~


But i don't know.. how people can get so sure that he's/ she's the one? how would you know? Married people got divorced, loving couples got hurt. People live, people get sick, people die. Bad things happen. We can't always expect things would go our way. ha-ha-ha, i am so realistic kan?

but seriously, if everything would work out just fine, we don't need the court, we won't be calling for 911, no need for sorry, no police, no umbrella. no, no.. nothing..

then again, that's how life supposed to be, meaningful and a lifetime learning process. If the sun never set, it will never rise. get it?

oh, why am i becoming more like Dr Cameron? tp xpe gak kot.. she got Chase.. hik3~ i NEED to tidy my messy room..SEPAH2~ tommorow's plan? enjoy! haha... 10 days off kot.. best giler~

about 10

about ten things in my life, that i know i need to change.. but i refuse or perhaps i can't?

1. i will not become lazy. surely a doctor needs to know everything. study.study.and study
2. i must reduce sleep. i got addicted with sleep. the more. the better. drugs~ HO life would be so mean on my sleep schedule.
3. i must put aside emotionals matter. i think i could be a lot worst than Dr Cameron. Decision-makings in medical issue would be impaired by my emotions.
4. i must be strong. I think i am so weak. how on earth i am going to work 24-7 in the hospital? ~lembik~
5. i should not dislike medical books. i found them as lullaby to me.
6. i must be a good manager of my time
7. i need to change my attitude
8. i have to stay positive
9. i am obligated to stay calm and rational everytime.
10. i must come out with more reasons why i am here right now, because currently, all i did was complaining about this and that. Be grateful, will you?

if life is a game, then i am changing the game plan now. new strategies, new combat field. new game.

tp Allah sebaik-baik perancang. sy tak tahu apa esok akan jd, sy juga tak tahu apa akn jd 10 minit lg. Paling kurang, sy telah merancangnya. Sy melihat diri sy 10 thn lg di hospital. mungkin di Gaza. atau mungkin 6 feets under, siapa tahu? Yg penting, sy tahu sy telah melakukan yg terbaik supaya esok lebih cerah. Dan dgn itu sy telah pun rasa bahagia walau x sempurna.

p/s- 10 hari cuti. alhamdulillah. gembira~

impian seorang abah

"Terlintas di hatiku... setelah 18 tahun aku & isteri mendidik mereka, akhirnya aku sudah melihat tarbiyyah itu membuahkan hasil. Anak-anak mula memahami kemelut ummah. Anak-anak mula menghayati perjuangan menegakkan agama Allah, dan mereka faham bahawa perjuangan itu tidak semestinya mengangkat senjata ke medan perang... tetapi berjuanglah mengikut kemampuan yang ada. Allah tidak tanya berapa banyak kita menyumbang, tetapi Allah lihat keikhlasan dan kesungguhan kita."

-kata2 seorang abah-

kata2 ni ak jumpa dlm blog ayahanda seseorang yg ku kenal.siapa? biarlah rahsia. Betapa bahagia seorang anak mendapat keredhaan ibubapa. Betapa bangganya ibu ayah, anak yg ditatang mengikut acuan yg diigini. Membaca kata2 ini, membuatkn aku menitis setitik dua airmata. Sebak. mama, baba, bangga dan redha tak dgn kak long sekarang?

Aku dibesarkan dgn acuan agama, dihantar ke SMKAA instead of TKC. Masih ingat betapa sebalnya aku kerana ditolak tawaran ke SBP (tkc) usai UPSR. Kemudian dihantar di KISAS, moga jadi muslimah solehah. Sesudah itu.. Bumi anbia' destinasi seterusku. Langkah demi langkah, baba mengatur semua ini, dgn harapan aku jadi manusia berguna pada agama, pada bangsa.

tapi, aku masih merasakan semua ini belum cukup, andai aku pergi esok apakah sudah sempurna tanggungjawabku sebagai anak yg diredhai? Sudah siapkah aku sebagai anak soleh yg mendoakan kebahagiaan dunia akhirat ibubapaku dan menjadi salah satu dari 3 perkara yg akan berterusan pahalanya buat mereka?

Masa diskusi kitab -'aina khalal?- Salah satu perkara yg dibincangkn dlm kitab tu, "banyak bercakap ttg kehebatan org sebelum kita, ayah2 serta mereka yg terdahulu"

Ust Fawwaz pusing ke aku..

"syaimaa', kamu perlu lebih hebat dari ayah kamu, jangan setakat sama, atau kurang dari itu, baru ayah kamu bangga dengan kamu"

sengih. "insyaAllah ust~" ... ades, berat tu ust. Ayah saya tu Azhari. Sy? setakat KISAS capok.. amek medic pulak.. nasib baik terlempar ke Mesir.. dpt jugak tempias tarbiyah sket...Tp insyaAllah tu janji. Mari kotakan. Amin~~

janji ku,
tarbiyah ini belum berakhir,
ia baru bermula,
selagi kaki masih dibumi,
tangan masih mampu menadah langit.

Tuhan tahu,
aku kepadaMu
hatiku akan dikosongkan hanya buatMu
semoga jalanku berterusan kearah redhaMu
jangan cabut hidayah ini dariku

aku mohon..
jangan pergi dariku..
tunggu..
aku mohon...

sabda NAbi SAW: "sebaik-baik manusia ialah yang menberi manfaat kepada
manusia yg lain"

-andai tak dapat menjadi malaikat, janganlah pula kau mencari syaitan, sesat lagi menyesatkan-

i think pink

Meet my current phone. Call her Star.

star binti samsung~

My previous Nokia 5200 was totally damaged by a splash of Karkadeh drink and a few roll-and-bump-under the bed. Simply speaking 'lingkup terus'. So, 'terpaksa'la ceh ayattt~ beli baru :P

I never thought I would use Samsung before. Popular search for Mobile phones would always be Sony E, or Nokia. or iphone~ Just giving it a try. So far so good. The only thing is, I need to handle it with care. sbb dy touch screen dan sgt2lah delicate. I must say that it's quite fine with me. It got Flickr, Facebook, Youtube, Photobucket, Google, MySpace. For an internet-holic like me, it's quite cool. HTC or Iphone is even better, i think. But compared to their price, Star is okay. [cheap for a WiFi touch screen phone.]

Actually, i wasn't planning on buying a new phone right away. kononnya nk bersabar sampai summer break and beli kat Malaysia. But Star is within my budget limit actually Star is lower than that. so i just got it there and then.

so.. i was wandering around Sarag City Centre to buy Star's screen protector and guess what I spotted?

**

**

**

**

samsung star Rosa

Star's sister in PINK

it actually looks even better in real view.
[ceh, nyesal!!]

yes!

P.I.N.K

not just any pink, but the alluring, sultry metallic sweet pink

T_T~!

I don't know that Star came in PINK too. Now i regret buying it without checking it's other color.

but it's okay, black is cool ryte? black is style~ haha [tp still terbyg2 pinkie star~-]

;P

khair

khair = kebaikan

dakwah = ajakan

klau sebut dakwah, sume org will shot 'that' look. Dakwah bkn setakat pom pang pom pang berceramah, bkn takat berdebat sini sana hal ummah, bkn takat kehulu kehilir berdiskus kitab.

tp ajakan, mengajak kearah perkara khair.. itu pun di pandang slack. Sudahlah diberi pandangan tu, siap katakan TIDAK lg.

Bkn perkara mudah. Mengajak melakukan kebaikan. Klau ajak pegi berbuat sia-sia. Tak payah pk. 0.01% was-was. terus YES I DO!

boleh bayang x Rasulullah berdakwah mcm mn? ini, setakat nk ajak kwn ikut program pon, terkial-kial. Klau kwn tanak ikut rasa down gile.. Diri sendiri pon dok bilang iman, klau kuat sket ikut, klau malas sket, tinggal.


Dunia, Harta, Jawatan, Lelaki, Cinta.. semuanya bakal jd abu... terbang, hilang.. takut2 hanya itu yg ada dalam otak kita sekarang, boleh jd kayu api neraka belaka2.. takut

nasihat utk diri sendiri jgk, sadis gile bile tgk manusia kejar dunia sampai mcm tu sekali. kita yg setakat hilang cinta manusia, kita boleh separuh sasau nangis naik gila. Ini pulak hilang cinta Allah.Cinta Dia yg memberi nyawa dan hidup pada kita. Tak ke bleh jd tak tentu arah? Tak pulak kita rasa nk nangis?

wahai syaimaa ahmad, Hidayah itu tak dtg berkali-kali, berapa kali dia ketuk, kita tak balas. Siap halau2 lg. Ingt dia nk berbalas kunjungan lg? Klau dia tak hadir? klau Allah tutup pintu hati? Kalau Allah tarik nyawa dalam kita dok ber'kalau-kalau' ni? Kalau Dia tak bangunkan kita setelah malam ni, sedang kita kata esok, esok, esok aku nk berubah?
nauzubillah~


Ya Allah, aku tak mahu mati sia-sia, tabahkan aku Kuatkan imanku. Kurniakanlah hidayah kepada ku dan rakan-rakan ku. Semoga dibukakan pintu hati kami. dan Semoga kami mati dlm mengingatiMU

you are lucky

some are just lucky to get everything in their life, but some[me] needs to fight for everything they dream of.

what else do you want?!

-jealous mode-