can i ask why?

*syaimaa' s weather forecast: May 9th. This heat is just unbearable, i just hope it rains sometimes. It's raining alright in my world

The people that I loved, why they never stay?

It's just about time where people get moody and cranky due to the exams. As for me, the sound of screeching furnitures tears me into pieces. Some of us is moving from here. One of the things i hate the most are goodbyes. So, How can you speak so casually about finding new homes infront of me?

Everytime i got so attached to someone, the next thing i know is he/she is leaving me already. *gahh gloomy~* EVERY time. The more i care for them, the harder the goodbye would be. Isn't life taking things a bit harsh on me?

The reason i stayed back, is.... i don't know.. maybe it's my self defence mechanism? To endure the pain of being left behind, and see if one would stay besides me just for once?

*why am i smiling writing this? b'coz i sounded stupid no? friendship test much huh?*

It's just not fair to care for someone that much, and eventually they'll hurt you and leave. Somewhat slowly turning me into a monster whom incapable to care anymore. I found it hard for me to open up to anyone ever again. *that explains why i love to walk around, alone*

Probably, it's me. Come to think of it, can't be everyone just love to leave right? Maybe I sent them off. I am that hateful~

but, what makes you think it's okay to stop by and play then pack your bags and leave just like that? what am i then? pit stop? r&r? *mad*

*sigh* new housemates is easy to come by. new bestmate? new hang out friends? I feel like a child going back to school already. Every new year = everything is new. Ahhh.. tired of it already.

6 years.. oh my~

If I don't express enough gratitude of having you as my friend, then i'm sorry.. I just don't want to get hurt anymore.

The moment i said 'don't let go of my hand' you just turned and go just like that. Then tell me how to care for someone? I think it's enough to see your back from far, remember you in my prayers, praying so that you lead a happy life now and here after.

This is how i care. This is how i'm going to love.

I hope the sight of empty house won't make me sad anymore ;) If i were to live like this then i just have to make it to the fullest, no?

pindah~ i find this word as funny now..it;s like a chant, keep repeating in my head.