because I will never stop dreaming

12 years ago, when people asked me "what will you be one day?" Spontaneously, without even blinking I'd answer " A Doctor"

Never ever I had in mind that one day, I'll be here. In that Hall room sitting and answering a 3 pages essay on Renal Malphigian Corpuscle. But this is today.

Last year was a surviving year. A transitional year. A learning period. But this year is different, I got something to prove, I have a mission to accomplish.

It's almost two years now, pardon me, but I must say from where I stand today, I must have been the lousiest medical student ever lived in this earth. This is reality. This is fact. If I were to be a patient I literally will run from this type of doctor-to-be.

Despite all this, I'm still proud of myself, for trying and pushing myself forward, for setting up a new limit for myself. The sky is NOT the limit for me.

I think it's become a habit now. To feel a bit blue over every paper I took. The feeling of unsatisfied. The unsettled feeling that lingers and haunts me forever. The kind of i-know-i could-do-better feeling.The guilt of how i treated the subjects with injustice. sigh~

i know, regrets are pretty lame.

Histology is now history. I got 3 more written exams coming up. 4 Oral exams. I know it sounds silly, but don't you think the desire to strike for full mark is reasonable? It does to me.

I'm hunting Mumtaz this year. That may sounds cheesy for someone who barely survived first year. But please read the topic again.. eventhough dreams are hard to get, if everyone gave up on their dreams then no one will ever reach the sky.

I'll get what I deserve and GOD will help if I persevere.

To all medical students out there, yes your life might be hard now, it's because you have to save someone else's life later on. Please don't make their life hard too in the future. Keep yourselves together now, will you?

i promise i will.