dear brothers.

Back in first year we used to pester the ikhwah like crazy. When the lamps need to be changed, when the pipe leaked, when the gas leaked, when we want to move the closet, when the doors was locked with keys inside, when we want to put the curtains on. We thought it was okay.

but one of them said something behind my back, I heard and he doesn't know it. And it still hurts to the core.

"akhawat ni ngada gile"

That's when I stopped pestering them. It's like a wake up call to me. kami? mengada? We try to do things differently. Learn to be more independent.

Now in 3rd year, I kicked the door open on my own. That explained the musyrif. I was trying to be independent. Oh yes, I heard you alright. Please don't forget that we got technology. The camcorder got you.

If you lived with me for 5 complete years, you wouldn't say that, you wouldn't laugh along. [Is it even a joke?] 5 years. Something less than that, no sir, you don't get to judge me.

I'm no adventurous type of girl who like to go on a Rambo mission. I'm not proud whenever I don't use musyrif. It's terrifying.

I know, not even in 9th year a female can walk alone at night. I know.

But my ego was saying otherwise.

I HAD ego. What I know is a fact and what I feel is nonsense. Since no one care about feelings anymore, let's just put them aside.

I would say, I am truly very thankful to those who ever helped us and sorry for being such a troublesome. I don't hate help. My ego hates it. For that,

Thank You and Sorry.

everyone saw the iceberg, but no one is brave enough to see what's beneath. The main reason Titanic sunk was never the tip. But yes. Don't bother looking, the ship SUNK. [past tense]